The Banter on Sarcasm Street

ponies-and-politics:

idreaminwords:

Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story?

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OMG

whoreisawhoreisawinchester:

iguanamouth:

i think its funny how there are some actors who played a role for so long that its almost impossible for me to see them as anything else

and then there are some actors who’ve done so many roles i dont even see them as actors anymore it’s just them as themselves in another movie

and then there are actors who you’re not quite sure what they really look like

auspisstice:

cyberdepressed:

HAVE U EVER NOTICED THAT VAGINAS AND SCHOOL BOTH HAVE 6 LETTERS AND ARE EMPTY HOLES OF NOTHING THAT CAN HOLD SCREAMING CHILDREN FOR 9 MONTHS

i

(Source: madfawn)

1chihara:

Anxiety is not funny (◑‿ ◑)

don’t make jokes about it (◑‿ ◑)

don’t make fun of people who have it (◑‿ ◑)

don’t laugh when they tell you about it (◑‿ ◑)

don’t laugh about it  (◑‿ ◑)

don’t (◑‿◐)

xaprilsfool:

You know who never sat around and waited for their knight in shining armor?

Maria Thorpe.

She was her own damn knight.

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

blackbirdrose:

bennetwilcox:

IT’S THE SAME GUY FROM LAST YEAR

#he’s like the doctor and river’s awkward lovechild